I stepped out of the inter dimensional space ship and walked into the lobby. Much as I had expected, it was raining. Don’t be confused ! I call my Elevator that. When I got into the elevator, on the seventh floor, it was bright sunny and beautiful, when I got to the ground floor, the intensity of rain would have made Noah start on his boat earlier. Therefore, I make it a rule to carry sunglasses and an umbrella in my bag at all times (just a bit of unnecessary information. FYI I dont lend either of them to anyone !!!). Needless to say, as every story needs a conflict, I had one. It was pouring like the Armageddon and I didn’t have an umbrella. Thus began my futile search for dry land and a rickshaw. A rare phenomenon in Mumbai .The Ganesh festival hustle bustle had made it worse. There were pandals everywhere !! Bamboos sticking out of nowhere. My favourite part of the festival though, were the the streets that are dotted with merchants selling Ganesh Idols. There is Lord Ganesha everywhere !!! Its never enough to just marvel at the beauty of the idol….
A polite, “Bhaiyya, JUHU chalenge ???” turned to “Juhu chal teri maa ki..(beep beep beep beep)” by the time I got the rick.
The rain, the smoke and the construction work in the city would make you want to pour alcohol all over yourself, sit on a drum full of TNT and play with a matchbox. Oh yes, and the beggars (They’d make you light the match). When I got off from the inter dimensional space ship, the space travel had probably made me delirious that today was going to be a “Good” day. As my rickshaw moved an inch every minute, I realized I had a lot of time to kill. “Kya Madam kitna traffic (we don’t need no education) udhar se jaatey toh jaldi (we don’t need no thought control)…” The rickshaw wala’s idiotic remarks got remixed with the song. The signal turned green, the rickshaw wala shut up. Started the engine, moved an inch and stopped the rickshaw. The Signal had gone red again much to his dismay. He just wanted to dump me off!
Needless to say, a little boy beggar walked up to the rickshaw and asked me to spare some change. I waved my hand which is classic for “go away”. He made a sad face, scratched my feet, tapped my knees, kicked my rickshaw and walked away. Pretty routine for a person like him. Just then I noticed a woman around the corner who was arguing with an elderly man wearing a green coloured t shirt that said “I am really awesome at being humble” . She was trying to strike a deal with him for a portrait of Radha Krishna. She finally succeeded at getting it at her price and got into a rickshaw. (Bravo, I said softly to myself) . She suddenly climbed out of the rickshaw and started dusting herself off and kissed the portrait and stomped off saying “Inn logon ko rickshaw chalaane kaun deta hai”…
I waited patiently so that my rickshaw could move another inch so I could get a glance of the driver. He was wearing a white cup shaped cap, had a thick beard, dark brown eyes and there was a verse of the Quran on the back of his seat. She had gotten off the rickshaw because he was a Muslim and she was a strict Hindu Brahmin. She stood in the pouring rain for a rickshaw but did not get into the same rickshaw. Mean while the man with the green shirt had moved on to another client. He seemed to be very friendly and was making small talk with the green man. As the signal turned green, and I inched closer. His shop was called “Ishwar Creations” (Ironic …eh… ?). His shop particularly did not have any Ganesh Idols to my surprise. As my rickshaw moved past the shop, I overheard the client asking “Akbar chacha, yeh saal dukaan mein ganpati nahi rakkha ?? ” and Akbar chacha aka the man in the green tshirt replied “Saare bik gaye beta !!! “
(R.I.P. for the woman's soul,for when she finds out)
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